I’ve been working on this blog for weeks adding and erasing things constantly, but couldn’t put my thoughts into the right words… Then life got in the way. I guess that’s why they call it writer’s block. An English junkies worst nightmare.
If you know me you know I always have the next 5-10 years of my life planned at all times.
- Where I’m gonna be
- Who I’m gonna be with
- What I want to be doing
And for once, I don’t. And I’m happy. I don’t even know where I’ll be this time next year and it’s scary but awesome. How crazy is it to have your whole life “figured out” (to the best of our ability in our 20’s) one moment and then in a split second it all unravels? Kind of scary sounding.
The Domino Effect is defined as the cumulative effect produced when one event sets off a chain of similar events. It’s used to imply that an event is both inevitable or impossible depending how the dominos fall. Good or bad. It’s all just a sequence of luck.
I feel like the first domino fell a few months ago and it has begun to set off the rest of a chain reaction. Does that make sense? I don’t know. It may not. It could be completely crazy.. but what if ya know?
I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that people come and go for a reason, but doesn’t it suck to be left in the dark until the reason reveals itself? The universe tries to make or break us by throwing anything and everything into our row of dominos. I think that’s such a good metaphor for life.
I’m in shock at how truly happy I am with the way my dominos are falling. Of course, shit sucks sometimes ya know, and things don’t work out and the timing is off and life just sucks, but you just take the leap. Things always seem so scary and you just have to take the leap. Living is such a gift and what fun is it to waste time planning what is already planned. Why worry about the future when it’s already predetermined?
So I guess the long awaited sentence I have yet to put into the universe is that I’m single. For the first time in five years. It’s weird no doubt. But I think I love it… So far. I wanna spend time loving myself and taking care of myself instead of someone else. The only thing that is weird is just physically not having someone around all the time, or not having someone to talk to everyday…. and also buy me food hahaha. But really, it’s definitely a big change.
Like I said though, things happen for a reason and who knows what the reason could possibly be right now.
I’m convinced my next boyfriend will either:
1. Drive a truck, wear baseball caps, and wear his sunglasses around his neck when they aren’t on his face
2. Look like Christian Grey and wear a suit. Hahahahaha, I think I’d be happy with either.
Or I’ll become a crazy writer and adopt tons of ferrets. Who knows.
I guess the point of all this is to one give an update, because that’s just what I do to make everyone feel like they’re a part of something and not alone in anything; and two to just give people something to relate to. I feel like a lot of things are falling apart for people lately, especially people close to me and picking yourself back up alone is fucking hard. Believe me, I get it.
But you’re not alone and you won’t ever be fully alone. Promise.